Scary Time

It has been a very scary few days. DH has had a mini stroke that occured in one eye and we are not sure how much damage it has left behind if any. For him to ask me to take him to the ER totally terrified me as he NEVER asks that and he is one you have to drag kicking and screaming to the regular doctor lol. He had lost his vision in the one eye with a headache and just felt like things were not right . He is doing much better today but will have to have a mess of tests next week when they were able to schedule him in and until I know what we are up against it's a very scary ordeal. I depend on him for just about everything since my illness began in 2001 and we got our act together. I am the one who has had to have the care and now I feel like I need to care for him yet he is acting like it was nothing but being in the medical field all these years I KNOW it was nothing to mess with. I know I am babbling but that is what a blog is for right lol? I am downright scared of what may happen to him and part of me worries some too about what will happen to me if he can't be the one taking care of me? Selfish side of it too I know and admit it. I am so used to him taking care of the things I cannot either because I can't physically do them or because they are too emotionally draining which sets off my Lupus. I know it took my illness to wake him up and guess maybe this is God's way of shaking me up as well as I know I surely can not be easy to live the days my pain levels are high yet he sticks right here with me. We have a wierd relationship all 30 some years of it lol with off again on again issues but since I was diagnosed and so ill in 2001-2002 he just sort of stepped in and took over and has been awsome for the most part. oK ok done babbling for the moment lol sorry but hey not sure anyone even reads this except myself so if i can put up with me lol then what can i say?